Design

So I've been toying with starting an interior design blog where I share my ideas.  Many of us claim to be interested in interior design, but some of us can fanatically claim to be interested in design of ALL kinds.  Anything creative and artistic really moves us, from fashion, to make up, to painting, to furniture, to architecture, books and pimped out cars. But I don’t want to be a jack of all trades and master of none, so interiors have become my focus.  I grew up happily with beautiful things around me (thanks to my parents' impeccable taste) and I believe our surroundings really affect our souls and our minds. 

My interior design ‘system’ as I like to call it is not a taught one, but it is one which I think we all use. You see, whenever I go someplace new, I don't look at each thing in detail; I just want to 'feel' the place first, I even want to smell it, and I (weirdly) listen to any sounds, such as humming machinery, whirring fans. This is really seeing a place in it's entirety. All this creates the ambience of the place for me and I start to "know" the space. Then I look at the details, starting with the focal point and the placement of the pieces around that focal point.  I look for the beauty, (or lack thereof), of each and every piece and I rearrange things in my mind, even mentally bringing in pieces of furniture i've seen elsewhere. It's all by feel since I have no formal training but I just know when things seem right for me and whether a design is working in my eyes or not.  It has to fit.  I am one of those who firmly believe that creativity cannot be taught but it can be developed somewhat by practice. 

The reason I'm writing this is not to brag about my artistic abilities, but to actually lament the fact that there is no internship system in this country.  Some of the best designers have never seen the inside (or outside) of a university; they just started by working as interns for very little money and learnt the business in that way.  I tried to become an intern. I sent mails to different Interior Design companies here but only one responded with "I'm sorry but we have no internship system at our firm".  So now I have like a hundred books on design and even more magazines.  I absorb and play around with ideas which I hope I will be able to put into practice someday soon Inshallah. Any takers out there? 

We have a few excellent interior design magazines here in the UAE.  Have a look at "Inside Out", it's one of my favourites. Bye for now.

Edited on 16/9/2017:  I can now easily rewrite the above post and use words such as "rhythm", "line" and I would call it a "space" not a "place". Why would I do that you may ask?  Well, it's all because I am about to complete my diploma course to qualify as an interior designer.  It has taken me over 5 years from the time I wrote the above post to get to this stage. Can we talk about being stuck?  I have just started a new blog over at www.fatumerastyling.com  all about interior design and styling, and how we can all have beautiful design in our lives.  Hey! You probably have a dream of your own you want to see come to life.  It isn't easy, but we can get there with determination and pure grind. Let's talk.

Gas Station Incident

Rant:

So there I was after a whole morning of running errands at out neighborhood gas pump, filling up on gas.

Me:  Asalaam alaykum, 50 dirhams special please

Attendant:  OK (puts the nozzle into the gas tank and heads off to serve other client)

After 10 minutes attendant comes to my window, "50 dirhams please" I check the meter and sure enough it indicates 50 dirhams has been pumped.

I hand him a 100 dirham note, and he gives me back 50 dirhams in change.

Me:  Shukran, Thank you!

Attendant:  Welcome! (walks off to another car)

I drive off and I don't get 8 metres before I hear a loud clanging noise, I look back and I see the attendant's confused look turning into horrified comprehension when he realizes he did not remove the gas nozzle and pipe from my car's tank.  I can understand this happens sometimes and so I wait for him to come over and check for any damage to the car or the pump.  But sadly, this is what I hear coming from his deceitful mouth "Madam, I told you "one minute" why did you drive off".  WTF!  I am 1000000% sure that he said nothing of the sort and I told him so.  He walked off and left me there wondering what's next?  The supervisor came and said "It's your fault for not checking that the nozzle is out of the tank"  WHAT!!  How on earth can I see the nozzle on the right side of the car from the drivers seat?  All I saw was the price indicator showing 50 dirhams had been filled into the tank, so I paid it and do I now have to come out of the car and check that the nozzle has been removed?  If he said "One minute" like he claimed then why did he then walk away and not actually go to my car to remove the nozzle??


 It was clearly his fault, at least partially, but he behaved like a complete ass and insisted that I drove off on my own accord, whereas had he apologized we could have come to some compromise.  The accident  police (known as 'Sa'ad' they come to handle minor accidents) came and literally forced me to accept blame and make my insurance pay, he sympathized with him knowing that his job was on the line. I found out later that I can make a report of negligence and he will probably lose his job, but I don't want to do that. Now I have to run like a maniac to get the insurance to pay and reclaim my driver's license.  Actually soon after that the real police came and the poor attendant's face turned ashen, he knew that he was in for it, but I didn't make a fuss because of Allah, I am not vengeful but the injustice of it all makes me mad.  What should I do now?  Maybe I should make a statement so that he can get a warning, his negligence could cost someone dearly.  It was horrible seeing someone lie like that!  Ruined my whole already mucked up week. All I can say now is Alhamdulillah for everything.....at least the car wasn't damaged.

Thank you, Baba!

In honour of my Father (Allah Yarhamu) for teaching me so much.  I had no idea that I was in the school of life and that he was showing us by example how to live the Quran.  Reading it is not enough.  We have to live it.


One of the lessons absorbed from him was if someone in need asks you for something, never say no.  Even if you can't give him exactly what he asked for, the least you can do is give him kind words of support.  My father said that his own father had told him to never turn anyone away empty handed. When I think of this now, I see that my father and grandfather (May Allah rest their souls) have given and given and given of the bounties that Allah had bestowed on them.  But really, they were gaining and gaining and gaining as Allah has promised us in the Holy Quran:

"And as for him who asks, do not chide (him),"

Surah 93 Ad-Duha Ayah 10

"Who is there that will offer to Allah a good gift

so He will double it for him, and he shall have an excellent reward."

Surah 57 Al Hadid -Ayah 11

"If you set apart for Allah a goodly portion, He will double it for you

 and forgive you; and Allah is the Multiplier (of rewards), Forbearing,"

Surah 64 Al Taghabun Ayah 17

Alhamdulillahi Rabb il aalamin.

I'm Back!!

Yaa Halla!  Halla Wallah!  I have been away for so long but I had good reason and so much has happened.  Alhamdulillah, I have finally become a Citizen of the Good Ole United Arab Emirates.  Yaaaay!

Anyway............


As I have mentioned before, I have two teenaged kids at two different stages of teenagehood. 
Its interesting for me to see the differences between boys and girls. 


When I was about 13 years old I noticed the boys around me were are all about asserting their manhood and their toughness. "Nobody mess with me!" was their attitude. Another favourite attitude they had was "I don't have time for any nonsense" and sometimes "If your looking for trouble you'll find it with me, I'm gonna kick your a**". They became very territorial and even aggresive. Hormones were working overtime.


We girls were all "Am I beautiful?" (what other answer is there except "yes"?) "Do I look fat?" ,  " I need new clothes"  (said very loudly),  "Do you think he likes me?" (whispered to a friend)  ..................


*sigh........ I'm still saying the same things mostly....lol.

Dirty Hoes!!

Warning: 18Plus

I was chatting to a UK friend of mine the other day and this subject came up.  He told me that in the clubs in London, people often have sex right there in the dark corners or in the bathrooms.  This is what he said.  Whaaaat!  I haven't seen this in all my long gone partying days in Nairobi, and we partied a lot!! I don't know what it's like now, maybe some of my younger, still partying friends can enlighten me? 

My late brother was the DJ at what was then known as "Visions" and there were a couple of burly bouncers who took care of any over enthusiastic shows of affection before they got out of hand.  I DO remember seeing young couples snogging in the corner at the famous Carnivore but thankfully nothing more.  Maybe this was going on but I didn't see this as I was always busy dancing my night away.  There were always prostitutes there trying to hook up with "clients" so they could leave and go do it in some seedy hotel room or quickies in the cars or whatever.

The question is this: when we see a woman selling her body for money then we can define her as a prostitute, but what do we call the women who just feel like getting some and go trawling in  clubs for it?  Maybe she's in between boyfriends, or divorced or whatever so she sees nothing wrong in behaving like many men do.  If she needs it, she goes out and she gets it, without getting paid, or paying anyone.  What is she called?   Can she be termed a whore if money doesn't change hands? Some people may even think she has a right to fulfill her needs as she sees fit.  Is it not just a basic need like eating and sleeping?  But on the other hand, aren't we women emotional creatures?  And is the driving force really just a physiological need for sex or an inner desire to feel loved and wanted?   Sometimes a woman (or a man) just needs to be held.  Maybe this is the closest thing to a cuddle they can get?  I do feel sorry for these women and I am not one to judge, that is Allah's Supreme right.  All I know is loneliness is a terrible thing and I pray that we never get desperate enough to allow our bodies to be used just to get some short lived male attention. 

By the way,  I have a bone to pick with some of  you men: C'mon! step up and pick up the slack, there are so many good women waiting for you, and why do you always prefer bitches anyways?  That's another post for another day once I've read THIS book by Sherry Argov....

Wow! It's Getting Hot Again

I feel so bad! I have been neglecting my blog, life has taken over every second of my day and I can hardly find five minutes to catch up and put my thoughts into words. And the weather is back to "HOT HOT HOT".  Temperatures have been soaring and tempers at work have been flaring.  It seems people are talking at high volume this week and it's driving me insane!.  What's going on? 

Update: Mr. Big Staring Eyes has been transferred to another department so I no longer have to tolerate his goggly eyes on me, eww!  But I do feel bad for him because he was demoted from being a Team Leader, to 'just" a Senior Engineer.  I swear I had nothing to do with it!!  He must have made the wrong people mad....

What Most Women Know

Once, a married frenemy of mine was very upset because she had found out that her husband had been cheating on her. She had been suspicious for a while and she had done some snooping around and a lot of threats and tears later, he confessed. Nobody would have believed it if he had not confessed. He was always at work or at home.  He used to go to the gym three times a week and was always accessible by mobile phone.  So when did he meet this other woman?  He never missed a single prayer and I remember at that time we had discussed how he could reconcile praying 5 times a day with cheating on his wife.  I didn't tell her this but I was sure that he was not cheating, he had actually married that woman and kept her in a flat secretly.  She smashed her car into his and ended up having her license suspended for a year.

It was no shock to me. I knew men do this because it had happened to me. (another long story for another day). At that time, my frenemy thought I was stupid and probably not tough enough so I "brought it on myself". (That's why she's a frenemy).  Anyway, it was no surprise to me when her husband cheated.  What surprised me was her feeling that it could never happen to her when really,  in this part of the world almost every woman gets married with the knowledge that sooner or later, her husband will turn around and either cheat or marry another woman, or both.  There is no security, you get married, have your kids, and your hubby gets bored and marries another woman only to get bored again.  Then he'll say that he is "too much man for one woman".  Or that he always wanted to marry a woman from such and such a place, or it's in man's nature to want variety and blah blah blah! We've heard it all before.  The way these man abuse the laws of Allah never ceases to amaze me. The best most of us hope for is a (very rare) husband who fears Allah enough to take care of his responsibilities the way he should no matter how many women he marries.

What most men do NOT seem to remember is that their wives get bored of them too. 
Most men do not do anything to keep their wives interested in them.  They think that if a woman is provided with food and shelter then she should thank God. We do thank God for His Provisions even though most of these men never thank Allah for the good women that they are blessed to be partnered with.  They are no prize themselves, nothing special. All they have going for them is the fact that they are MALE, sitting around in tatty clothes, only grooming themselves when they go out for others to see them. To those men I say: How about looking good for your wife? How about treating her like a human being who needs attention, love, humour, intellectual stimulation and romance?  How about treating her like a PARTNER and NOT someone put on this earth solely to satisfy your needs? You save your best behaviour, jokes and respect for strangers, but at home you are  rude, unloving and merciless towards your wife and children.  You don't even have a kind word or smile for her.  You are not a man.  Only a badly brought up human being not taking care of the blessings that Allah gave you in the way that you were ordered to.  I speak for all wives who are fed up of their ungrateful husbands taking them for granted.

Peace out.