Monday, April 4, 2011

What Most Women Know

Once, a married frenemy of mine was very upset because she had found out that her husband had been cheating on her. She had been suspicious for a while and she had done some snooping around and a lot of threats and tears later, he confessed. Nobody would have believed it if he had not confessed. He was always at work or at home.  He used to go to the gym three times a week and was always accessible by mobile phone.  So when did he meet this other woman?  He never missed a single prayer and I remember at that time we had discussed how he could reconcile praying 5 times a day with cheating on his wife.  I didn't tell her this but I was sure that he was not cheating, he had actually married that woman and kept her in a flat secretly.  She smashed her car into his and ended up having her license suspended for a year.

It was no shock to me. I knew men do this because it had happened to me. (another long story for another day). At that time, my frenemy thought I was stupid and probably not tough enough so I "brought it on myself". (That's why she's a frenemy).  Anyway, it was no surprise to me when her husband cheated.  What surprised me was her feeling that it could never happen to her when really,  in this part of the world almost every woman gets married with the knowledge that sooner or later, her husband will turn around and either cheat or marry another woman, or both.  There is no security, you get married, have your kids, and your hubby gets bored and marries another woman only to get bored again.  Then he'll say that he is "too much man for one woman".  Or that he always wanted to marry a woman from such and such a place, or it's in man's nature to want variety and blah blah blah! We've heard it all before.  The way these man abuse the laws of Allah never ceases to amaze me. The best most of us hope for is a (very rare) husband who fears Allah enough to take care of his responsibilities the way he should no matter how many women he marries.

What most men do NOT seem to remember is that their wives get bored of them too
Most men do not do anything to keep their wives interested in them.  They think that if a woman is provided with food and shelter then she should thank God. We do thank God for His Provisions even though most of these men never thank Allah for the good women that they are blessed to be partnered with.  They are no prize themselves, nothing special. All they have going for them is the fact that they are MALE, sitting around in tatty clothes, only grooming themselves when they go out for others to see them. To those men I say: How about looking good for your wife? How about treating her like a human being who needs attention, love, humour, intellectual stimulation and romance?  How about treating her like a PARTNER and NOT someone put on this earth solely to satisfy your needs? You save your best behaviour, jokes and respect for strangers, but at home you are  rude, unloving and merciless towards your wife and children.  You don't even have a kind word or smile for her.  You are not a man.  Only a badly brought up human being not taking care of the blessings that Allah gave you in the way that you were ordered to.  I speak for all wives who are fed up of their ungrateful husbands taking them for granted.

Peace out.