Gas Station Incident

Rant:

So there I was after a whole morning of running errands at out neighborhood gas pump, filling up on gas.

Me:  Asalaam alaykum, 50 dirhams special please

Attendant:  OK (puts the nozzle into the gas tank and heads off to serve other client)

After 10 minutes attendant comes to my window, "50 dirhams please" I check the meter and sure enough it indicates 50 dirhams has been pumped.

I hand him a 100 dirham note, and he gives me back 50 dirhams in change.

Me:  Shukran, Thank you!

Attendant:  Welcome! (walks off to another car)

I drive off and I don't get 8 metres before I hear a loud clanging noise, I look back and I see the attendant's confused look turning into horrified comprehension when he realizes he did not remove the gas nozzle and pipe from my car's tank.  I can understand this happens sometimes and so I wait for him to come over and check for any damage to the car or the pump.  But sadly, this is what I hear coming from his deceitful mouth "Madam, I told you "one minute" why did you drive off".  WTF!  I am 1000000% sure that he said nothing of the sort and I told him so.  He walked off and left me there wondering what's next?  The supervisor came and said "It's your fault for not checking that the nozzle is out of the tank"  WHAT!!  How on earth can I see the nozzle on the right side of the car from the drivers seat?  All I saw was the price indicator showing 50 dirhams had been filled into the tank, so I paid it and do I now have to come out of the car and check that the nozzle has been removed?  If he said "One minute" like he claimed then why did he then walk away and not actually go to my car to remove the nozzle??


 It was clearly his fault, at least partially, but he behaved like a complete ass and insisted that I drove off on my own accord, whereas had he apologized we could have come to some compromise.  The accident  police (known as 'Sa'ad' they come to handle minor accidents) came and literally forced me to accept blame and make my insurance pay, he sympathized with him knowing that his job was on the line. I found out later that I can make a report of negligence and he will probably lose his job, but I don't want to do that. Now I have to run like a maniac to get the insurance to pay and reclaim my driver's license.  Actually soon after that the real police came and the poor attendant's face turned ashen, he knew that he was in for it, but I didn't make a fuss because of Allah, I am not vengeful but the injustice of it all makes me mad.  What should I do now?  Maybe I should make a statement so that he can get a warning, his negligence could cost someone dearly.  It was horrible seeing someone lie like that!  Ruined my whole already mucked up week. All I can say now is Alhamdulillah for everything.....at least the car wasn't damaged.

Thank you, Baba!

In honour of my Father (Allah Yarhamu) for teaching me so much.  I had no idea that I was in the school of life and that he was showing us by example how to live the Quran.  Reading it is not enough.  We have to live it.


One of the lessons absorbed from him was if someone in need asks you for something, never say no.  Even if you can't give him exactly what he asked for, the least you can do is give him kind words of support.  My father said that his own father had told him to never turn anyone away empty handed. When I think of this now, I see that my father and grandfather (May Allah rest their souls) have given and given and given of the bounties that Allah had bestowed on them.  But really, they were gaining and gaining and gaining as Allah has promised us in the Holy Quran:

"And as for him who asks, do not chide (him),"

Surah 93 Ad-Duha Ayah 10

"Who is there that will offer to Allah a good gift

so He will double it for him, and he shall have an excellent reward."

Surah 57 Al Hadid -Ayah 11

"If you set apart for Allah a goodly portion, He will double it for you

 and forgive you; and Allah is the Multiplier (of rewards), Forbearing,"

Surah 64 Al Taghabun Ayah 17

Alhamdulillahi Rabb il aalamin.

I'm Back!!

Yaa Halla!  Halla Wallah!  I have been away for so long but I had good reason and so much has happened.  Alhamdulillah, I have finally become a Citizen of the Good Ole United Arab Emirates.  Yaaaay!

Anyway............


As I have mentioned before, I have two teenaged kids at two different stages of teenagehood. 
Its interesting for me to see the differences between boys and girls. 


When I was about 13 years old I noticed the boys around me were are all about asserting their manhood and their toughness. "Nobody mess with me!" was their attitude. Another favourite attitude they had was "I don't have time for any nonsense" and sometimes "If your looking for trouble you'll find it with me, I'm gonna kick your a**". They became very territorial and even aggresive. Hormones were working overtime.


We girls were all "Am I beautiful?" (what other answer is there except "yes"?) "Do I look fat?" ,  " I need new clothes"  (said very loudly),  "Do you think he likes me?" (whispered to a friend)  ..................


*sigh........ I'm still saying the same things mostly....lol.

Dirty Hoes!!

Warning: 18Plus

I was chatting to a UK friend of mine the other day and this subject came up.  He told me that in the clubs in London, people often have sex right there in the dark corners or in the bathrooms.  This is what he said.  Whaaaat!  I haven't seen this in all my long gone partying days in Nairobi, and we partied a lot!! I don't know what it's like now, maybe some of my younger, still partying friends can enlighten me? 

My late brother was the DJ at what was then known as "Visions" and there were a couple of burly bouncers who took care of any over enthusiastic shows of affection before they got out of hand.  I DO remember seeing young couples snogging in the corner at the famous Carnivore but thankfully nothing more.  Maybe this was going on but I didn't see this as I was always busy dancing my night away.  There were always prostitutes there trying to hook up with "clients" so they could leave and go do it in some seedy hotel room or quickies in the cars or whatever.

The question is this: when we see a woman selling her body for money then we can define her as a prostitute, but what do we call the women who just feel like getting some and go trawling in  clubs for it?  Maybe she's in between boyfriends, or divorced or whatever so she sees nothing wrong in behaving like many men do.  If she needs it, she goes out and she gets it, without getting paid, or paying anyone.  What is she called?   Can she be termed a whore if money doesn't change hands? Some people may even think she has a right to fulfill her needs as she sees fit.  Is it not just a basic need like eating and sleeping?  But on the other hand, aren't we women emotional creatures?  And is the driving force really just a physiological need for sex or an inner desire to feel loved and wanted?   Sometimes a woman (or a man) just needs to be held.  Maybe this is the closest thing to a cuddle they can get?  I do feel sorry for these women and I am not one to judge, that is Allah's Supreme right.  All I know is loneliness is a terrible thing and I pray that we never get desperate enough to allow our bodies to be used just to get some short lived male attention. 

By the way,  I have a bone to pick with some of  you men: C'mon! step up and pick up the slack, there are so many good women waiting for you, and why do you always prefer bitches anyways?  That's another post for another day once I've read THIS book by Sherry Argov....

Wow! It's Getting Hot Again

I feel so bad! I have been neglecting my blog, life has taken over every second of my day and I can hardly find five minutes to catch up and put my thoughts into words. And the weather is back to "HOT HOT HOT".  Temperatures have been soaring and tempers at work have been flaring.  It seems people are talking at high volume this week and it's driving me insane!.  What's going on? 

Update: Mr. Big Staring Eyes has been transferred to another department so I no longer have to tolerate his goggly eyes on me, eww!  But I do feel bad for him because he was demoted from being a Team Leader, to 'just" a Senior Engineer.  I swear I had nothing to do with it!!  He must have made the wrong people mad....

What Most Women Know

Once, a married frenemy of mine was very upset because she had found out that her husband had been cheating on her. She had been suspicious for a while and she had done some snooping around and a lot of threats and tears later, he confessed. Nobody would have believed it if he had not confessed. He was always at work or at home.  He used to go to the gym three times a week and was always accessible by mobile phone.  So when did he meet this other woman?  He never missed a single prayer and I remember at that time we had discussed how he could reconcile praying 5 times a day with cheating on his wife.  I didn't tell her this but I was sure that he was not cheating, he had actually married that woman and kept her in a flat secretly.  She smashed her car into his and ended up having her license suspended for a year.

It was no shock to me. I knew men do this because it had happened to me. (another long story for another day). At that time, my frenemy thought I was stupid and probably not tough enough so I "brought it on myself". (That's why she's a frenemy).  Anyway, it was no surprise to me when her husband cheated.  What surprised me was her feeling that it could never happen to her when really,  in this part of the world almost every woman gets married with the knowledge that sooner or later, her husband will turn around and either cheat or marry another woman, or both.  There is no security, you get married, have your kids, and your hubby gets bored and marries another woman only to get bored again.  Then he'll say that he is "too much man for one woman".  Or that he always wanted to marry a woman from such and such a place, or it's in man's nature to want variety and blah blah blah! We've heard it all before.  The way these man abuse the laws of Allah never ceases to amaze me. The best most of us hope for is a (very rare) husband who fears Allah enough to take care of his responsibilities the way he should no matter how many women he marries.

What most men do NOT seem to remember is that their wives get bored of them too. 
Most men do not do anything to keep their wives interested in them.  They think that if a woman is provided with food and shelter then she should thank God. We do thank God for His Provisions even though most of these men never thank Allah for the good women that they are blessed to be partnered with.  They are no prize themselves, nothing special. All they have going for them is the fact that they are MALE, sitting around in tatty clothes, only grooming themselves when they go out for others to see them. To those men I say: How about looking good for your wife? How about treating her like a human being who needs attention, love, humour, intellectual stimulation and romance?  How about treating her like a PARTNER and NOT someone put on this earth solely to satisfy your needs? You save your best behaviour, jokes and respect for strangers, but at home you are  rude, unloving and merciless towards your wife and children.  You don't even have a kind word or smile for her.  You are not a man.  Only a badly brought up human being not taking care of the blessings that Allah gave you in the way that you were ordered to.  I speak for all wives who are fed up of their ungrateful husbands taking them for granted.

Peace out.

Copy / Paste

If you, like me, grew up elsewhere it will drive you insane when you see how some ("some' not all!) of the people here want to be rewarded for just being nationals.  They want certificates without getting an education, and they will take any shortcuts to get what they want. They cheat in exams and pay teachers to give them better grades.  They use hidden bluetooth headsets to listen to the answers from their partners in crime hiding in the corridor outside the exam rooms. All their assignments and thesis are copy /pasted from the internet.  Copy/paste is their best friend in this whole world.

A colleague came to me last week for help.  Her sister is in university and she had to do a  paper entiltled  "Factors that Affect Consumer Taste in Different Parts of the World".  (btw, we did this in 'A' Level Economics). She was very upset because they were told by their professor that he wanted them to do their own research and express it in their own words.  "Haram!" she said "How could he expect them to do that?  Maskinah my sister, she's crying, she can't do it, he is so mean, so cruel!  Please help her!" 

So her sister copy/pasted someone else's work from the internet and sent it to me to condense it into 1500 words and diguise it to look like it was originally done by her.  I did it because I am too kind, I should have just said NO, let her use her brains and write her own paper. Let her EARN her degree/diploma or whatever it was.  But I was sure she would not understand. She would think I am jealous of the fact that she's a national, sailing her way through university without doing any actual work or learning. She probably thinks that all of us want certificates without the education to back it up. After all these years, I know these characters well, so to avoid drama, I just rewrote it to make it look like "her own" and sent it back to her. It took me all of 25 minutes.  I wonder what grade I got?  I hope it was an "A"! 
I can see her a few years from now, clueless, crying again at the unfairness of it all, because they did not promote her after 3 months of mediocrity in her chosen field.

That's the UAE, baby!

Btw, I am so thankful to Allah for allowing my parents to provide me the education that they did. 

There Are Still Some Men

Just the other day, I was waiting in the car for my son to come out of the shop.  (I can do that now that he's old enough. Alhamdulillah)


Anyway, as I was sitting there I glanced across at the little play area they have outside the Co-op.  They have those noisy, nursery rhyme playing, mechanical rocking horses that toddlers can't seem to get enough of.  I saw a man leaning against the wall carrying a little baby.  He was totally absorbed! He had eyes only for the baby and my heart was suddenly flooded with emotion as he kissed the baby so very tenderly that his eyes closed, and then opening his eyes, he smiled at the baby with so much love. My eyes filled with tears.


Thank you Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'ala) for reminding me that there are still some men who know how to love their children. 

2011 is Full of Surprises

This year has started off like a huge sack of unknown things where you don't know what you're going to pull out every time you reach into it.  That guy in Tunis who immolated himself in the town square sure as h*** had no idea that his life-ending action would oust the president of his nation.  When that Egyptian guy decided to call for a demonstration in Tahrir Square via Facebook, he had no inkling that it would change the history of his country and determine a new future for the next generations.  And now Libya!  Life's like that, you never know what will happen next.

Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'ala says in Surah Luqman Verse 34:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ عِنْدَهُ عِلْمُ السَّاعَةِ وَيُنَزِّلُ الْغَيْثَ وَيَعْلَمُ مَا فِي الْأَرْحَامِ وَمَا تَدْرِي نَفْسٌ مَاذَا تَكْسِبُ غَدًا وَمَا تَدْرِي نَفْسٌ بِأَيِّ أَرْضٍ تَمُوتُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ

Surely Allah is He with Whom is the knowledge of the hour, and He sends down the rain and He knows what is in the wombs; and no one knows what he shall earn on the morrow; and no one knows in what land he shall die; surely Allah is Knowing, Aware.

May Allah strengthen our faith to face whatever comes to us with patience and correctness, amin.

Who Cares?

An infamous tyrannical leader criticised his fellow tyrant when his population revolted against the widespread hunger and food shortages in his country.  He said: "Mjinga yule! That idiot!  He kept his people too hungry!  I told him many times,  feed them just enough, but not too much.  They must  always be kept preoccupied with looking for the next piece of bread to organize and revolt!". An infamous  tyrant actually said that ( a friend of his uncle's cousin's daughter's son told my friend's cousin's neighbour). 

So it turns out, there's a fine and delicate balance expertly maintained by well experienced tyrants in power.  They graciously give the people "just enough" to have a glimmer of hope for a better day,  keeping them just passive enough.  That's how they keep progress down in poverty stricken countries.  What about in places where there is plenty to eat and folks are not scratching the earth for the next meal?  What about in places that are earthquake free, tornado and natural disaster free? People in these places are free to develop and grow their minds, now that their bodies are well fed, but they don't?  Why? What are we preoccupied with so that we don't think to better our lives?  Scroll down for the answer:

They preoccupy our minds with utterly, useless, brain cell destroying, mindless trivia.  They bombard us with this junk on a second to second basis through the thousands of useless tv channels (radio and other media channels are also guilty).

We are too busy with what mindless comment Haifa Wehbe made on some lame talk show to actually nurture our own and our children's minds with education and religion, and therefore better ourselves.  Who is being thrown out this week in Star Academy? What did Brangelina wear to the Oscars?  Is Lindsay Lohan back in rehab?  Is that a baby bump Beyonce is trying to hide?  Did Jay Z have a nose job?

Who cares?  Who cares? Who cares? Apparently a lot of people do!  Enough to generate billions of advertisement dollars and enough to keep people busy trying to play catch up with people we will never meet.  It's all about the money.  Advertisements to keep us in the shopping malls buying things they so cleverly convince us that we need.

We are told what is the most desirable car, phone, woman, man, house, toys, and everything else so that we are so busy trying to acquire those things that we never open our eyes to see that we are living lives entirely empty of substance,  quality and spiritual growth and depth. We are so busy and so blinded by trivial pursuits that we cannot see what is not right in our own societies and indeed in our own homes.  We have no time for character building. 

The good news is this tactic apparently did not work to keep the Egyptians down because to my knowledge, Egyptian tv is mega saturated with trivia with hardly a youth oriented educational channel in sight.  So the stomachs and the minds of everyone were hungry.  Yet the Egyptian youth still did not allow the wool to continue to be pulled over their eyes. There's hope yet.  *Climbs off a very high horse*

Cradle Me

Sometimes we go through such pain and uncertainty that we feel that our hearts cannot take it anymore, that they will literally burst out of our chests from the pain, the pure injustice caused to us by our fellow beings. You want to cry your eyes out and I often do.  We all go through this, every single one of us. I would like to share with you  that, when I go through such times, I take all those tears, fears and injustices  to Allah and let the tears flow like a river. I just cry with my heart and eyes, (not with a loud voice):

Oh Allah, since you are my Master, and I am your slave,
Since You are My Lord, and I am your servant,
Since You are My Creator, and I am your Creation,
Since You are the Originator of every single thing that exists,
And only You have complete power over all those things,
Since You are Merciful, and I am in need of Your Mercy,
Since You are the Forgiver, and I am forever  in need of Your Forgiveness,
Since You are The Protector, and I am vulnerable,
Please help me,
If I don't come to You, then to whom will I go?
If I don't cry to You, then to whom will I cry?
If I don't hope from You, then from whom will I hope?
If I don't have Your Love then what do I have?
Please My Lord, cradle my heart and soul like a mother cradles her child,
and soothe them,
Cover me with you Infinite Mercy, ease for me this pain and bring me to a better day,
Ameen, ameen, ameen.

Thank You All!

I just want to thank you people who have been reading this blog and my two followers (praying for you, Um Q).  Thanks everyone!

I've added an RSS feed to the top right hand corner of my page for those of you who want to be updated on any new posts or comments. You can receive updates on your mobile phone.  All you have to do is click on the orange button labelled "Subscribe to The Same as it Never Was". Then pick your reader of choice, e.g., myYahoo, Google Reader, Atom, etc.  You can schedule your RSS reader to check for updates every 12 hours,  daily or whatever. It's very handy because I sometimes find a site I like and I want to go back and read more but unless I bookmark it, I may not find it again.  So RSS comes in and save the day. I've set my RSS reader to  check sites I'm subscribed to daily for new content and notify me.


You can read more about RSS feeds here where you'll find a much better explanation than mine.

Keeping up with the Idiots!

 Show offs are just idiots trying to look interesting.  Even worse, they are trying to look interesting to people who either (a) don't give a damn!! or (b) are idiots themselves.

If you have to borrow a whole years salary to pay for that expensive holiday so you can bore your friends to tears with the 700+ pictures of you sitting in the airport, getting on the plane, stepping into the taxi, stepping out of the taxi, entering the hotel room, trying out the bed, brushing your teeth, changing into your pyjamas, etc., then you should probably skip vacation this year.  Staying home this year will be excellent not only for your pocket, but for our poor eyes.  It's better all round for the sanity of your fellow human beings!

If you haven't been able to pay your three maids their salaries for the past 6 months then you have to rethink your lifestyle, How about teaching your older kids how to use the washing machine, the iron and the vacuum?  Then you can let one of those poor, overworked girls go.  What's that you say?  Manual work is below you?  If our own Prophet Muhammed (SalAllahu alayhi wasallam) could wash and mend his own clothes, sweep his own floors and  prepare his own food, who are you to look down on that?

If you're going to be paying for your luxury car at 4% interest for the next 6 years, then you should have gone for that less expensive model, you'd have been done by now. 
What's that? As if!! You'll be damned if you're going to buy a cheaper car than your neighbour and you sure as heck are not going to drive that same old car for 6 whole years.  Next year, you'll sell it off and let someone else finish paying for it.  Then you'll take another huge loan to buy the latest luxury car you cannot afford. After all, you would rather go to jail than be seen in a 3 year old car. On your release, you can always tell everyone you were on a long vacation in the South of France.

You and your wife go to Dragon Mart (China Mall) because you can get shiny things at a reasonable price.  At Dragon Mart, you can buy that gigantic chandelier made with "Xhmalooski" crystals (the Chinese cousins of the Swarovskis) . People will "ooh!" and "aah!" when they see it glittering above your shiny furniture which you purchased with one of your many bank loans. And they will think you are millionares since only millionares can afford chandeliers.  Your wife instructs you, "If anyone asks you where we bought it, let's tell them "Dubai Mall"".

What's wrong with just saying "China Mall"??  Hey! Don't you know that many of those shiny things in Dubai Mall are also made in China???  Oh I see!  Bargains are for poor people. God forbid you should look like a sensible shopper who looks for bargains.

Must....look......rich......or...die...trying...must......NOT......look......poor.

We would all be so much happier if we realised that ultimately, in front of Allah, it's not what we HAVE,  it's what we ARE that really matters.

Frenemies Forever!

There are friends, there are enemies, and then there are frenemies. 

Frenemy:   A person who pretends to be a friend, whilst all the time demeaning you and trying to destroy or claim for themselves your self esteem, your reputation, your style, your achievements and anything good you may have.

Alhamdulillah, I recently got rid of one. I'll just give you a small example of the type of things she did.  If I bought a pair of shoes, she would say "Are those from Aldo?  I saw them but meh!".  Next time I see her she's bought the exact, same shoes and she would make it a point to inform me smugly "I have those shoes". And she did this also with perfumes, mobile phones, handbags and anything I had.  Wtf!!  I guess she didn't like them enough until she saw them with me!

She told everyone that she and I are exactly the same. NOOOOOOT!! 
I am not an insecure, impolite and selfish human. She was jealous of my friends and would insist on meeting them. I introduced her to my lovely friend "H" who owns a tailoring shop.  She had H's tailor make a few dresses for her, but when H's father was in hospital, she didn't even call H to ask about her father.  When he passed away (Allah rest his soul), she didn't call H to give her condolences.  When she wanted more clothes from H's partner about a month later, she feigned embarassment:  "I'm ashamed I didn't give her condolences on her father's death".  I told her "Well, now's you chance".  Amazingly and disappointingly she still didn't do it even as she bought a pileful of Moroccan jalabiyyahs at an amazing price from H's partner. The words  "thank you" did not even pass from her lips. Later on she told me that she just "didn't feel like it". She wanted to show me that my friend H meant nothing to her solely because she knew how much I love H.

Why did I tolerate her for so long?  Because I am patient and I pick my fights carefully.  So I let all her nasty little comments and deeds go, only because I felt that arguing with a fool makes me a fool too. Sometimes people mistake patience for weakness.

I was waiting for a chance to get her out of my life for a very long time but it was difficult because we are married to brothers. Thankfully, she moved house further away and she made it easy for me to make a full break (I knew she inevitably would) by picking a senseless fight on a day when I had absolutely no patience for her nonsense.

She called me to complain and accuse me and the other brother's wife of being jealous of her new house (really??).  When I told her I prefer to be far from her and I don't want her calling me to gossip about other people, she went berserk, insulted me and said that I was selfish, did not support her in her vendettas against other friends and I am envious of her and everything she has.  So I said, "Oh well!  If  I'm all those things then what do you want with me anyway?" 

It went back and forth for a while.  Oh God! How I hate bad drama! The call ended with a hint of desperation on her part.  She reckoned we have to stick together because everyone was jealous of our friendship (really???) and I shouldn't let them "win" by breaking it up.  It was starting to sound creepy and I knew then that she was out of her mind!  Soon after that she tried to orchestrate a group effort in her campaign to malign me via of all things, Facebook.  (Damn you Mark Zuckenberg!!)  But as of now, the little group seems to have disintegrated. They were probably too jealous of her "beauty and riches". Hehehe!  You have to laugh at the dramatic lunacy of it all!

I Miss Nairobi...

Abu Dhabi has been blessed by rain these past couple of days and I'm ecstatic!  It's made me nostalgic. You see, I grew up in Nairobi, Kenya, which my grandma used to call "Ulaya Ndogo" (Little London) due to the grey, drizzly skies.  For several months of the year the rain poured and poured and poured.  I had to walk back home to change my uniform a couple of times because I fell in the mud just as I got to the school gate. I went on to misuse that "I fell in the mud" excuse several times when I was late for school until the teacher started to look at me suspiciously.  When I started high school, I changed to a school farther away and I had to use the bus.  Walking to the bus stop was a miserable affair.  Umbrellas were no use since the wind would whip the rain into you from the sides.  The bus itself is another story for another day, Kenya Bus Service!! Aaah! Good times!!  


I love Nairobi.  My family moved there when I was one month old. I've heard it called City in the Sun, which is true for some of the year, but what I miss the most is the rainy days when we would light a fire in the living room and bask in it's cosy warmth.  Most Nairobi houses have fireplaces.  It can get pretty cold. We sensed when comfort food would be needed in our house and at first sight of a grey cloud that soup pot would be on the fire. We would throw in meaty bones, carrots from the garden, celery, peas and whatever other veggies were at hand and season with plenty of black pepper. Potatoes would be added near the end.  Deliciously warming soup! I've tried to recreate that soup here but it never tastes as good.  It seems lacking.  Maybe some logs burning in the fireplace are the crucial, missing ingredient! 

Just for a Day....

It's been a minute since I was last here.  It's been work, work, and more work.  It's amazing how you can be so busy but seem to get nothing done at the same time.  Anyway here I am!

We have a Company Family Day coming up in early February and I registered myself as a  volunteer.  There'll be games like basketball shots, egg and spoon races, sack races (you'll never catch me in that!), hit the target,  for kids, ladies and adults (mixed).  Yes!!! Mixed games for adults!!

I am amazed that there actually will be games to be played as a family.  I have to see this. I want to see our normally kandoora and abaya clad selves letting ourselves go with our children.  I foretell that embarassment will prevail in the office for a week or so after the day but I want to be one of those who dares to be a kid again even if it's just for a day. 

Enough of the lowered voices and stiffened backs, the computer elbow will be straightened out on that day.   On that day we will not hear the quiet rustling of bakhoor (incense) soaked abayas, the smart clacking of Christian Louboutins and the more aggresive whooshing of the men's (also bakhoor'd) kandooras. We will be wearing sports clothes under our abayas, Converses, Nikes and Reeboks on our feet.

Yeah!  We need a good time too although I am the idiot who has agreed to be a volunteer at the kid's games section.  I'm sure I will regret it, but I really enjoy the company of young people, including my own, so I will take the good with the bad.  I think I've taught my own kids well but can I say the same for some of the rest of the people I work with?  But I won't let that dampen my enthusiasm. 

Ya Allah give me patience with all little monsters I may encounter, (including my own).  *Smile*

Leave Dubai Alone!

YouTuber Chris Crocker wailed "Leave Britney alone!!".   Now I'm wailing "Leave Dubai alone!"


Some of us are sick and tired of Dubai bashing. 
There have been some damaging articles in the UK press and other places about Dubai. The headlines go something like: "The Dark Side of Dubai", "The Desert Dream is Fading", "All that Glitters is not Gold",  "You Can't Get Rich Quick in Dubai Anymore" (yes, I made that one up but you get the drift!) blah blah blah!! There may be truth in these articles but if the Dubai Dream turns into a nightmare who should be blamed, really?   


I am no politician (just an opinionated individual) so bear with me if my facts are not your facts. 

Dubai has been called out on many violations and much has changed especially for large companies hiring thousands of labourers, but what do we expect them to do about those domestic workers who are so miserably mistreated by their employers that they hurl themselves out of fifth floor windows? Is it possible to police people inside their own homes?


Although the laws protecting domestic workers are in place, most of these workers don't have a clue about their rights.  Doesn't abuse have to be reported before the authorities can take action? Even in the most developed societies victims are reluctant to report their abusers.  How can we educate these workers about their rights when they come here already grown and many from countries where they have even less than here?  It's interesting to note that just as many of their tormentors are foreigners and some are from those same developed countries that raise a stink when they see human or animal rights violations. Evil is evil no matter where it's from.

Dubai has been hit hard by the recession just like the rest of the world.  I read about one traumatised woman living in her Range Rover, waiting for her husband to complete his jail term so they can go back to the UK together.  They've lost everything in the financial crisis. I feel for her although the fact that she is homeless yet sleeping in a luxury car is telling.  From what I understood from the article, they made some misjudgements in their business decisions and this coupled with the global recession, left them flat broke and debt-ridden in a very short time.  I have little financial market knowledge but how is this Dubai's fault?  We were taught in "A" level Economics that businesses fail sometimes. Like, duh!

There are many things wrong here just like in other parts of the world but what good does it do to just gloat, smirk and make exposes? This country is still very new. It took centuries for the finger pointers to get where they are now and Dubai is trying to do that in a few short decades so let's cut it some slack. It's like they're just waiting for a fail. They won't admit it but they want to see Dubai fail.


Unless we can be constructive and help correct what we perceive as injustice then let's just "Leave Dubai alone!"


Now just for laughs, here's Chris Crocker pleading Britney's case.

Patience is Paradise

Allah tells us in Al Quran Verse 39:10 :

"Verily the steadfast and those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure

and will be recompensed in full without count at the Day of Judgment."

And their recompense shall be Paradise, and silken garments, because they were patient.

 Reclining on raised thrones, they will see there neither the excessive heat of the sun, nor the excessive bitter cold, (as in Paradise there is no sun and no moon). The shade will be close upon them, and bunches of fruit will hang low within their reach. Vessels of silver and cups of crystal will be passed around amongst them, crystal-clear, made of silver. They will determine the measure of them according to their wishes. They will be given a cup (of wine) mixed with Zanjabeel, and a fountain called Salsabeel. Around them will (serve) boys of perpetual youth. If you see them, you would think they are scattered pearls. When you look there (in Paradise) you will see a delight (that cannot be imagined), and a Great Dominion. Their garments will be of fine green silk and gold embroidery. They will be adorned with bracelets of silver, and their Lord will give them a pure drink." [76:12-21]

Patience can lead you to Paradise.  It's the hardest thing sometimes, but so worth it in the end.  

Allah has promised the patient ones Paradise without count on The Last Day.  Without count was once explained to me.  The first meaning that came to mind was "without measure", but if you read more and think on it you will soon see a further meaning.  It also means that the patient ones will be forgiven and allowed to enter Jannah without having to stand in front of Allah to have their good and bad deeds recounted to them.  That is huuuge! Can you imagine the fear and shame of standing in front of Our Almighty Creator with all our bad deeds being read to us? So remember, at the culmination of our existence on this earth,  when we are all waiting for our turn to answer for our deeds, Allah will spare the ones who were patient with His Qadr from the fear of facing His Interrogation on The Last Day.

Isn't that hope inspiring?

This is for my sweet daughter who has faced a huge disappointment today.  Remember, we may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can control our reaction to it. Keep your head up, sweetie, (and everyone elso out there going through tough times). Allah will not burden you with more than you can bear and this too shall pass...xoxoxo

Men at Work

Asalaam alaykum.

So I'm hammering out this post at work in between mouthfuls of green tea. It's not that I don't have real work to do, it's just that I need to rant about this crazy dude working here.

He is so weird for so many reasons. I recently caught a glimpse of his raggedy, greying ponytail when he was adjusting his ghutra on the top of his head. He plays videos in his office and sings old Yemeni love songs in a loud, thick voice, bashing his palms on his desk in time to the music. When his friends visit his office, they have a blast, laughing and joking loud enough to blow your eardrums. 

And....He stares at women.  If you happen to meet him in the corridor, he loses his composure, then recovering, he will puff up his chest, broaden his shoulders and stare. He will even turn around to look at you from from behind.  It's horrible!  It's scary because he has very big, red eyes. I hate being stared at like that! I don't have to deal with him professionally, his work is not even remotely related to mine, but his office is directly opposite mine.(I call mine an office but really it's just a large cubicle).

My sweet friend called me for a natter the other day, and as I was quietly giggling at a joke, Mr. Big Eyes stepped out, scowling.  He walked right past my office straight to his secretary in the next office.  I heard mumbling for a few minutes and then he walked back to his office and slammed the door.

Then his secretary called my extension and apologetically told me her boss asked her to tell me that I was laughing too loudly, not appropriate behaviour for a woman in the office, and if I laughed or talked loudly again then he would report me to my boss. 

Really???!!??  Now as I remember I was talking softly but I was worried so I asked the secretary if she had heard me laughing or talking? 

She said, "No, I didn't even know you were talking on the phone!  That guy is a jerk, we all hate him!  He likes women to smile and laugh with him, and you ignore him. Just give him a smile every now and then and keep a low profile for a while until he finds something else to be a jerk about!" 

Whaaaaaaat....??!!??

So now I'm being made to feel like I'm a mannerless fishwoman who doesn't know how to behave in public because this guy needs attention?

My job is very important to me so I've been doing my best to talk very softly since then, but I will not smile at him. I refuse to pander to his fading sense of masculinity.

Meanwhile I'm thinking of blowing this picture up and putting it up on my wall. Heeheehee!

Care(less) Clinic



Danger!!  Keep Away



I have absolutely no confidence in the medical system over here. Noone I know does. I'm just telling it like it is.  The nurses who couldn't make it to USA, Canada, Australia or anywhere else flock here. And let's face it the majority of the doctors recruited here are the ones that would not be missed in their home countries.

A tiny example:

I had to go to the Cleveland Clinic run government family clinic for a check-up. (Isn't Cleveland always the laughing stock in US tv shows?  just sayin'...).  My appointment was for 5:30 pm.  I was there by 5:15 pm knowing that I had a higher chance of piloting the Space Shuttle to Mars than seeing the doctor at the appointed time. But I just can't unlearn the punctual ways I was taught, nor would I want to. The nurse called my name for the usual preliminary checks of weight, height, BP, etc. The phone rings.

Nurse:  'Aiii! Hello Doctor!" *puts the call on speaker phone as she checks my temperature*.

Doctor:  "Girlie, I need to prescribe medication for patient xyz. Her weight is not recorded in the file.  Could you please check the weight of the patient in your file?"

Nurse (Girlie): "Aiii! Eet ees not recorded??' *immediately proceeding to cover her ass*  "It was Lita who weighted (!) the  patient, doctooor, maybe she just forgooot". 
Then: "Eet's oqay doctor!  I weel check!" *opens a file on her desk*

"Erm, erm..Doctooor, da patient is 5.6 kilos, "

Doctor:  "Thank you, Girlie!" *hangs up*

2 minutes later the Doctor calls back

Doctor: "5.6 kilos?? The patient is 8 years old! How can that be? Please check in the computer this time" (Meanwhile I'm thinking,  "It took "Doctooor" 2 whole minutes to realise this?!")

Girlie: "Aii, sorreee Doctooor! Oqay I weel check again!" *very long pause as she checks the computer muttering under her breath* 
           
Then she triumphantly announces:  "Doctooor,  here it eees! Da patient ees 68 kilos!"

Aiiiiii!

Can a normal 8 year old weigh 68 kilos?

I'm just saying, if they can't even read a scale or record weight properly then Lord help us all!!