Frenemies Forever: The Saga Continues.

وَأَمَّا السَّائِلَ فَلَا تَنْهَرْ

 (Al Quran -Surah 93 verse 10)
"And as for the petitioner, do not repel {him}"

This is post i wrote way back but never got round to publishing:

My father told me something that has stuck with me all my life.  He said that his father told him to never turn away anyone who came to him for help empty handed. I later read the above ayah from surat Ad-Dhuha and I realized once again that I am born of a people that know their Creator and strive to fulfill their duties to Him. That is who we are.  My grandfather was well known for his "open hand", as were many of his predecessors, and my father kept this up.  Our house was always full of people needing something and they would most likely get what they wanted, or at the least a meal for that day.

Now, if you read my previous post here, then you will know that I have a frenemy from hell.  We haven't spoken for almost a year and life is a lot more peaceful.  Recently her housemaid gave me a call to ask for some help.  What can I say, I'm just like that, people always come to me with their problems and I never turn them away empty handed because I figure the least I can do is give some advice or moral support.  She wanted to return back to her homeland at the end of the year, but her boss wanted her to pay for her own ticket for whatever reason.  I advised her to go back and appeal once again to her boss.  If he refused then she would just have to save whatever she could up until December and I would do my best to help her in whatever way I could.

I didn't ask her when, why or what, but the next thing I know she's calling me from the airport in indignation. Why? Mrs Frenemy found out she had spoken to me and immediately cancelled her visa and packed her off.  She's back now in a better job, but that move Mrs Frenemy? That was a low blow delivered to someone who practically brought up your kids for several years of their lives. 

Back again

So here I am a whole year and some later. Blogging for me is cathartic it's like therapy, I swear! Which doesn't say much for my state  because if it's therapy, then I've been away from it for over a year and I've got lots to spill.

Update on Mum, she's much better but her illness is incurable so she is on dialysis 3 times a week. Not easy at all! Lots of ups and downs and some plateaus in between. Hospitals have become like a 2nd home sadly. Care giving while working full time and taking care of a family as well! When do I breathe let alone write? I miss writing! 

Checking in.....

It's been a while.  I have neglected this blog so much!  The reason is my Mum is seriously ill, I have been totally consumed with taking care of her and we have been learning by trial and error about the nature of her disease.  She suffers from renal failure and there is no cure except dialysis pending a kidney transfer. It hurts to see a loved one in pain and suffering and the only way is to ask Allah to strengthen us all and guide us to the right treatment that would bring her a better quality of life In sha Allah.  So you see, I haven't been feeling much like writing.  Sigh! Our health is so fleeting......

Design

So I've been toying with starting an interior design blog where I share my ideas.  Many of us claim to be interested in interior design, but some of us can fanatically claim to be interested in design of ALL kinds.  Anything creative and artistic really moves us, from fashion, to make up, to painting, to furniture, to architecture, books and pimped out cars. But I don’t want to be a jack of all trades and master of none, so interiors have become my focus.  I grew up happily with beautiful things around me (thanks to my parents' impeccable taste) and I believe our surroundings really affect our souls and our minds. 

My interior design ‘system’ as I like to call it is not a taught one, but it is one which I think we all use. You see, whenever I go someplace new, I don't look at each thing in detail; I just want to 'feel' the place first, I even want to smell it, and I (weirdly) listen to any sounds, such as humming machinery, whirring fans. This is really seeing a place in it's entirety. All this creates the ambience of the place for me and I start to "know" the space. Then I look at the details, starting with the focal point and the placement of the pieces around that focal point.  I look for the beauty, (or lack thereof), of each and every piece and I rearrange things in my mind, even mentally bringing in pieces of furniture i've seen elsewhere. It's all by feel since I have no formal training but I just know when things seem right for me and whether a design is working in my eyes or not.  It has to fit.  I am one of those who firmly believe that creativity cannot be taught but it can be developed somewhat by practice. 

The reason I'm writing this is not to brag about my artistic abilities, but to actually lament the fact that there is no internship system in this country.  Some of the best designers have never seen the inside (or outside) of a university; they just started by working as interns for very little money and learnt the business in that way.  I tried to become an intern. I sent mails to different Interior Design companies here but only one responded with "I'm sorry but we have no internship system at our firm".  So now I have like a hundred books on design and even more magazines.  I absorb and play around with ideas which I hope I will be able to put into practice someday soon Inshallah. Any takers out there? 

We have a few excellent interior design magazines here in the UAE.  Have a look at "Inside Out", it's one of my favourites. Bye for now.

Edited on 16/9/2017:  I can now easily rewrite the above post and use words such as "rhythm", "line" and I would call it a "space" not a "place". Why would I do that you may ask?  Well, it's all because I am about to complete my diploma course to qualify as an interior designer.  It has taken me over 5 years from the time I wrote the above post to get to this stage. Can we talk about being stuck?  I have just started a new blog over at www.fatumerastyling.com  all about interior design and styling, and how we can all have beautiful design in our lives.  Hey! You probably have a dream of your own you want to see come to life.  It isn't easy, but we can get there with determination and pure grind. Let's talk.

Gas Station Incident

Rant:

So there I was after a whole morning of running errands at out neighborhood gas pump, filling up on gas.

Me:  Asalaam alaykum, 50 dirhams special please

Attendant:  OK (puts the nozzle into the gas tank and heads off to serve other client)

After 10 minutes attendant comes to my window, "50 dirhams please" I check the meter and sure enough it indicates 50 dirhams has been pumped.

I hand him a 100 dirham note, and he gives me back 50 dirhams in change.

Me:  Shukran, Thank you!

Attendant:  Welcome! (walks off to another car)

I drive off and I don't get 8 metres before I hear a loud clanging noise, I look back and I see the attendant's confused look turning into horrified comprehension when he realizes he did not remove the gas nozzle and pipe from my car's tank.  I can understand this happens sometimes and so I wait for him to come over and check for any damage to the car or the pump.  But sadly, this is what I hear coming from his deceitful mouth "Madam, I told you "one minute" why did you drive off".  WTF!  I am 1000000% sure that he said nothing of the sort and I told him so.  He walked off and left me there wondering what's next?  The supervisor came and said "It's your fault for not checking that the nozzle is out of the tank"  WHAT!!  How on earth can I see the nozzle on the right side of the car from the drivers seat?  All I saw was the price indicator showing 50 dirhams had been filled into the tank, so I paid it and do I now have to come out of the car and check that the nozzle has been removed?  If he said "One minute" like he claimed then why did he then walk away and not actually go to my car to remove the nozzle??


 It was clearly his fault, at least partially, but he behaved like a complete ass and insisted that I drove off on my own accord, whereas had he apologized we could have come to some compromise.  The accident  police (known as 'Sa'ad' they come to handle minor accidents) came and literally forced me to accept blame and make my insurance pay, he sympathized with him knowing that his job was on the line. I found out later that I can make a report of negligence and he will probably lose his job, but I don't want to do that. Now I have to run like a maniac to get the insurance to pay and reclaim my driver's license.  Actually soon after that the real police came and the poor attendant's face turned ashen, he knew that he was in for it, but I didn't make a fuss because of Allah, I am not vengeful but the injustice of it all makes me mad.  What should I do now?  Maybe I should make a statement so that he can get a warning, his negligence could cost someone dearly.  It was horrible seeing someone lie like that!  Ruined my whole already mucked up week. All I can say now is Alhamdulillah for everything.....at least the car wasn't damaged.

Thank you, Baba!

In honour of my Father (Allah Yarhamu) for teaching me so much.  I had no idea that I was in the school of life and that he was showing us by example how to live the Quran.  Reading it is not enough.  We have to live it.


One of the lessons absorbed from him was if someone in need asks you for something, never say no.  Even if you can't give him exactly what he asked for, the least you can do is give him kind words of support.  My father said that his own father had told him to never turn anyone away empty handed. When I think of this now, I see that my father and grandfather (May Allah rest their souls) have given and given and given of the bounties that Allah had bestowed on them.  But really, they were gaining and gaining and gaining as Allah has promised us in the Holy Quran:

"And as for him who asks, do not chide (him),"

Surah 93 Ad-Duha Ayah 10

"Who is there that will offer to Allah a good gift

so He will double it for him, and he shall have an excellent reward."

Surah 57 Al Hadid -Ayah 11

"If you set apart for Allah a goodly portion, He will double it for you

 and forgive you; and Allah is the Multiplier (of rewards), Forbearing,"

Surah 64 Al Taghabun Ayah 17

Alhamdulillahi Rabb il aalamin.

I'm Back!!

Yaa Halla!  Halla Wallah!  I have been away for so long but I had good reason and so much has happened.  Alhamdulillah, I have finally become a Citizen of the Good Ole United Arab Emirates.  Yaaaay!

Anyway............


As I have mentioned before, I have two teenaged kids at two different stages of teenagehood. 
Its interesting for me to see the differences between boys and girls. 


When I was about 13 years old I noticed the boys around me were are all about asserting their manhood and their toughness. "Nobody mess with me!" was their attitude. Another favourite attitude they had was "I don't have time for any nonsense" and sometimes "If your looking for trouble you'll find it with me, I'm gonna kick your a**". They became very territorial and even aggresive. Hormones were working overtime.


We girls were all "Am I beautiful?" (what other answer is there except "yes"?) "Do I look fat?" ,  " I need new clothes"  (said very loudly),  "Do you think he likes me?" (whispered to a friend)  ..................


*sigh........ I'm still saying the same things mostly....lol.